Ooops, nope. That's not what this post is about because I am a jerk.
I gave this audiobook five hours of my life. I can't face another eight. I just can't do it. I mean, five hours?! That's a lot of time! I still feel as if I know nothing about any of these characters and I'm so very bored. Nope, I'm out. I sucketh at the reading. I know. I realize people adore this book but I didn't and it makes me sad that I didn't but that is why there are so many books. There is something for everyone. This something is for someone other than me.
A collection like this is typically like a box of gifted chocolates. I'm the type of jerk who wants a box containing only my favorites. Give me all the dark chocolate cherries or keep those chocolates for yourself because I don't want to waste the calories. Much like my reading life in 2020. I'm warning you now that I'm going to be a brutal DNFer because life is too short and I want to spend my free time doing things I love. I didn't love the first 35% of this book so I quit it. I hear In the Tall Grass is the best of the lot here and I've already seen the film so I'm good. Here are my lame thoughts about the stories I finished.
The introduction was great. It truly was. Joe Hill talks a bit about growing up with his famous parents and his decision to take the harder road to publishing. It made my nosy heart super happy to read this stuff.
Throttle
This is a tale of a biker gang. It's all about drugs, murder and money and it's not my thing in any way, shape or form. The characters find themselves in quite the bloody predicament on the highway but I didn't give a cats bum about any of it. They pretty much deserved what they got but I lack sympathy for jerks. Anyhow, I didn't find it scary or interesting. You might though but it wasn't my thing.
Dark Carousel
A group of teens visit a sinister carnival and horrible things befall them. I should've loved this one but I didn't. It was a decent premise but the storytelling wasn't mind blowing for me and I was a little bored.
Wolverton Station
A loathsome businessman visits London and spends so much time naval gazing it barely registers that he's on a train filled with wolves dressed in suits - until it's too late. I might've loved this one if the protagonist wasn't so BORING. Listening to him drone on and on in his thoughts ruined what could've been an interesting foray into crazy-town.
By The Silver Water Of Lake Champlain
This story was also dull. It was also filled with kids who fought constantly and offended my ears. I'm not entirely sure what it was about because I started to zone out.
Sorry, I truly am the shittiest of shitty readers.
Faun
This is the one that did me in. It's about a trophy hunter. It's told from the entitled prick's POV - or at least the beginning of it is his POV. I don't know about the rest because I had to nope the hell out of it. I don't want to spend my free time in a cruel and rich asshole's head today. I'm sure terrible things befell that jerk but I didn't want to spend one more moment in his head.
It's here that I threw in the towel. I wanted to love this book but as you can see it mostly irritated me. It might be my mood or it might simply be a book that was not meant for me. Will I read Joe Hill again? Of course I will! I've adored many of his books but this one didn't suit me at all. If you read it, I hope you love it. No one should read a book they do not love. Thus it is here that I DNF and quit this pathetic excuse for a "review".
May all your books be five star reads!
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